Saturday, April 30, 2005

People of Ohio! Start writing those letters!

«Gentle folks at the Guardian,

In your plea to get your non-American readers to write to voters in Clark County, Iowa, you are correct that events in the US have had, and will have, effects on world events. For example, we have pulled your chestnuts out of the fire in two world wars that were occasioned by European diplomacy. Maybe you'd like a vote in which American president will oversee the next rescue. The next time you have elections in Great Britain, I shall endeavour to send names of your citizens to people in France, Iraq, India, the United Arab Emirates, Botswana, Pakistan, China and Argentina so that they may attempt to influence your election. It's only fair that everybody in the world should have a say in the selection of the prime minister.»

Here's an Idea! With elections upcoming in the UK this week, a referendum on the EU in France and The Netherlands, and a federal election in Canada, why don't all of those people who were pandered with unsolicited letters from Ohio start writing back. After all the idea was so amusingly stupid that I'm quite sure people kept the letters and still have the return addresses!

I’m not sure it matters how these folks would normally vote – I think a polite and light-hearted letter asking them to simply invert their view of the world would be sufficient to demonstrate the sanity of the original effort. Angry British leftist always know better than any one else in the world. After all, just take a look at their accomplishments over the years – Tibet is free, and catastrophic global warming is no longer a possibility…

This should prove a nice trot down memory lane:

« I just read a hilarious proposal to involve your readership in the upcoming US presidential election. At least, I'm hoping that it is genius satire. Nothing will do more to undermine the Democratic cause in Ohio than having patronising Brits wander around Clark County telling people how to vote. Just, for a second, imagine if the Washington Post sent folks from Ohio to do the same in Oxfordshire. I'm saying this as a Democrat, and as someone who has spent the last few years in the UK. That is, with all due respect. Please, please, be rational, and move slowly away from the self-defeating hubris

«You radical leftwingers are worse than the Taliban. I suggest you stand back and take a good hard look at yourselves.

PS: When do you propose to add Michael Moore to your staff of lunatics?»

Here’s one from one “Harlan in Kentucky”… Hm…:
«The American taxpayers have spent trillions of dollars protecting the peoples of the EU, and what do we get in return. betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. I have been to your country, the country of my ancestors, and I know why they left.
May you have to have a tooth capped. I understand it takes at least 18 months for your great medical services to get around to you. have a great day.»
This list will give the mischievous among us a way to contact the UK press the way any fisherman can.

Such as it is, anyway...

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