Bars are to be banned from offering free alcohol to women and free wine and beer tastings will be curbed under a new system of government restrictions to cut public drunkenness.The nanny-statists and extreme environmentalists will no doubt have a hard time straight-facing the nonsense they peddle should the current slouch indeed slump long and hard.
There will also be rules to limit "happy hour" offers that encourage speed drinking and soft drinks will have to be sold at the same discount during promotions. Wine in restaurants will have to be served in glasses with marked measures.
The proposals, drafted by the Home Office and the Department of Health, seek to transform social attitudes towards drinking by breaking the association between drink and sexual, financial and social success.
(Update: As we said, quite hard to straight-face)