Crime’s Down, and Yet the Prisons are Filled with Coupon Clippers!

One of the benefits of a helpless, rapidly aging society, is the silliness of its’ crimes and the comic relief it offers. Trashy Berlin rag Berliner Kurier seems to be able to pick up the story where anti-gun laws have left off:

Two unknowns surprised [shop staff] last night shortly after closing time at a grocery store in Tempelhof by men who had apparently waited until 10 p.m. in the customer toilets of the business in the Germania Street. They threatened the four members of staff with a gun and a machete until 10:10. They fled then through a window in the direction of Felix Street after the cash was handed over to them.

Elsewhere:

First a Thief, and then an Aide in Marienchaussee, Berlin

A robber who attempted to snatch a woman’s purse had a sudden change of heart. Around 11:20 p.m., a stranger approached a 58 year old in a parking lot in Marienfelderchaussee and ripped at her handbag. After the woman held onto her bag and was thrown, the man apologized to her, helped her back on her feet and then fled without any loot. The woman suffered a concussion and was treated at a clinic. The Criminal Investigation Directorate has taken over the investigation.

I hope that the tale maintains you feelings of “guilt” being ironic and unclear.