The Politburo here at ¡No Pasarán! has unanimously resolved to make a special offer for Denis Boyles: we’ll flog anything you write to our adoring proletariat if you add an umlaut, dropped vowels, and improbably accents to your last name.
Not only does it make one heck of a marketing gimmick, it seems quite oddly to seem less “anglo-saxon-ness” while appearing brutally teutonic to at least a few chicks, and also strangely more pangalactically European, yet somehow inferring “globalness” by stroking the euro-chicken. Thanks a bunch, mijnheer Dnis’ Böylės. Just watching the confusion in trying to pronounce it makes one so feels oneself cosmopolitan!
Sir, we here at ¡N-P! are determined to make you better known than Häagen-Dazs. We'll install a dipthong at a later date.