She Blinded Me With Science

According to the NYT/IHT which ate the story (and its’ mercantile motives, no doubt) up without questioning it, the garden variety wino should be able to run a marathon.

An ordinary laboratory mouse will run one kilometer on a treadmill before collapsing from exhaustion. But mice given resveratrol, a minor component of red wine and other foods, run twice as far. They also have energy-charged muscles and a reduced heart rate, just as trained athletes do, according to an article published online in Cell by Johan Auwerx and colleagues at the Institute of Genetics and Molecular and Cellular Biology in Illkirch, France.

"Resveratrol makes you look like a trained athlete without the training," Dr. Auwerx (pronounced OH-wer-ix) said in an interview.

M’yeah whatever, pal. Thunderbird and protein power both come in containers of one kind or another, so it must be true.

Now go take a nice little nap, Doc.