They have Issues Even when they don’t Really have Issues

Cannibalism in the news? Nope. Peevish characters living in the human warehouse that is Europe quibbling over stuff they’re getting ‘for free’ to begin with or something, that is, when they aren’t whinging about the neighbors.

he said he couldn’t stomach Swedes

Seriously, I doubt that this is a stunt where the guy’s trying to make a point.

Even though it may be difficult for the man, who became a Swede in 1998, to win asylum in Denmark, police point out that as an EU citizen, he is welcome to live here.

An EU citizen, they’re sticking to the continent’s traditions. He’s being sent to a detention camp.

Elsewhere in the land of unreal non-issues: the natives are orbiting Pluto.

According to the report, the two, who are unnamed, decided to ‘try something out’ for their last day in Paris, and left their hotel dressed only in shoes.

After purchasing a chocolate croissant at the local baker in the 18th arondissement, the couple went walkabout, ending up at a metro station

Let’s hope that they weren’t so blessed out that they actually sat down, because then they would need to be sheep-dipped, doused in ammonia, deloused, and put on a course of Cipro.

There is also a long looked-forward-to spanking in their future as well.

The Prefecture of Police says in its report that walking naked around Paris can carry a punishment of up to a year’s imprisonment and a EUR 15,000 fine for sexual exposure.

Whatever happened to Il est interdit d'interdire?, and the evil those puritanical Americans were punitively pushing their hang-ups on the peeps of Smurf village?