Hooded, hanged, and left in agony for hours on end: Shame on the U.S. Army and on — wait, it's worse, it's the dastardly Israelis! What is it you say? The Palestinians? Oh right, who cares, then…

Awful news from the shameful American army — Suspects have been tormented and tortured in what is supposedly a civilized nation! Shame! Shame! Shame on America! The entire nation, the entire world must learn about the —

Oh wait, hold on a minute. Wazzat? Worse? Worse?! The news are worse! It turns out that the torture is the doing of Israel! The shameful Israelis! Wait until world opinion hears about those dirty, oppressive sons-a-bi—

Oh, wait — what is it we learn from The Daily Mail's David Rose?

The what? Oh, it's the Palestinians? Uh — okay… Oh well, then — who cares about the event then?… Le'ss jus' ignore it…