Mr. Bean Goes to Brussels

Zapatero the hugely irrelevant is looking for new and interesting ways to use the 6 months that his government will “run Europe” for what that line is worth.

Practically, Madrid's overarching challenge will be dealing with the economic crisis. The European Commission will next year present a proposal for a 10 year strategy to bring the bloc to 2020, which it hopes to have a preliminary agreement on by a March meeting of EU leaders.

Something he has a proven track record in the rousingly reassuring state of economic rebound visible in Spain. One, which puts him in a position to pressure the leadership having the most contact with the ECB, to consider a bailout of the “PIGS”: Portugal, Ireland, Greece, and Spain – another reason to short the Euro-Zloty for the next six months and invest in Norwegian bellwether and Poland as a whole.

Why lead when your term can be used for peevish personal politicking?

The treaty leaves plenty of scope for potential turf wars: Spain has said that it would like to host the EU-US and Latin America summits, in a move that will propel Mr Zapatero into the global spotlight alongside Mr Rompuy. The possibility of having Barack Obama on Spanish soil for a summit is already sparking protocol speculation, such as who will be the first to shake the US leader's hand.

Just imagine the stage being set for that “latin American summit” making President Obama the apparent equal of Daniel Ortega, Hugo Chavez, Evo Morales, Castro II, and the like. In looking rather closely at Zapatero, the only distinction I can find is that he appears to not wear a uniform or theatrical native garb, and probably has table manners.

¡ Но пасаран !

As ideological signifiers, all Zappo would need is a moustache and military un-dress uniform that looks like it came from a Hamburg fetish discount supply shop to pull of the same sales schtick in the long-looked-down-upon post rebellion “colonies”. One can’t help but picture a sort of Army Surplus Store of stale European ideas, but the irony is that in Europe, one needs no such signifiers anymore. With no drama being required, there are enough people who vote who take post-modern tripe at face value that one need not start dressing like an extra from an early Mel Brooks picture.