"Of course, we can't assert anything positively about Monsieur Derrida's recent failure to exist," said [President Jacques Chirac in his eulogy], "We can't even state that he ever did exist, since he may have been a mere metaphysical projection of our own prejudices against absolutes. However, in as much as we may categorically claim anything—Mr. Derrida will not likely be showing up for work tomorrow. Although, who is to say?"
(a trifling merci to Joe N)