Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Lessons From Our Father, The Man of Infinite Wisdom, the All-Knowing Barack Obama

Let's see if I understand what transpired in the wake of the 2014 elections, followed by Barack Obama's decision to unilaterally use executive orders to pursue immigration "reform"; if I understand the left's arguments correctly, and if we take them to their logical conclusion, this is what we must conclude:

• A leftist is an unusually sterling creature, an infinitely wise being who is more intelligent than the rest of us, who is more thoughtful than the rest of us, who is more generous that the rest of us, who is more humanitarian than the rest of us, and who therefore understands all problems correctly and who instinctively knows the solution to every problem that faces us.

• Thank God there is one man, a man of infinite intelligence, a man of infinite compassion, a man of infinite wisdom, who understands this more than any other, more even than any other leftist. (If he says that and that the public debt ought to balloon to $7 trillion — more than ever before, then who are we, and who especially are those treacherous Republicans — it's all their fault anyway! —  to question his infinite wisdom?) This nigh-divine being is, the Lord be praised, in the White House.

• Indeed, Barack Obama is so in tune with the American citizen, he is such an embodiment of the American people that when 2/3 of the voters do not come out to vote in the 2014 mid-terms — a vote that led to a shellacking of Obama's Democratic Party — he knows what these Americans think, he knows what causes they are supporting, he knows his people as his own sons and daughters.

(By some strange coincidence, all Americans who refrained from voting in 2014 — 100% of 'em — sympathize with, and they all of them support, not the positions of the Republican Party, but those of Obama himself.  It is not, say (off the top of my head), 40% support (more or less) the Democrats, 35% support the Republicans, and the rest are undecided or don't care; no, 100% support the deeply wise, wise views that only Barack Obama has. This also explains how good it was for the "father of the nation" to cheat in the 2012 election, by having the IRS cripple Romney's conservatives.)

• Therefore it is nothing but a blessing for the father of the nation to politicize every decision he takes (have Obamacare wait until after the 2012 election for the full price thereof to become known; (secretly) tell the Russian president to wait until after the 2012 election to go ahead with cooperation; wait until after the 2014 mid-term to announce his executive action on immigration…)

• It ensues that Republican leaders are (all) wrong, that Republican voters are (all) wrong, and that — for the good of the people — the Republican party probably ought to be banned. Alright, perhaps not banned, but purged of the evil leaders who do not understand all the good that this man is doing for us, all the blessings that he is bestowing on the American people. ("Yes we can" fundamentally transform America; "Yes we can" raise taxes, magnify government expenses, and triple the debt; "yes we can" create an army of bureaucrats; "yes we can" have the government and its bureaucrats intervening in as many lives as possible to "help" these wretched souls.)

• So, all these bitter citizens who cling to their bibles and guns need to have their thoughts changed to understand all the good that this "father of the nation" is doing for us, his children, and how stupid, and how egotistical, and how treacherous, and how backwards and reactionary it is to even dare oppose all those deeds. Re-education camps might come in handy here…

• The people must work with this genius in the White House, the wise, wise man who understands all problems and who knows the solution to all problems. (Just see the re-set with Russia, which has led to a non-antagonistic Kremlin, a Moscow that hasn't bothered America, or the West, or anybody else, since 2009 when the clueless cowboy Dubya left the White House.) They should not vote against him, and his decisions, and his henchman, they should just shut up and feel guilty and ashamed of their lack of knowledge and of openness to his infinite wisdom.

• Indeed, Obama is such a genius, such a humanitarian, that he probably ought (we should only be so lucky) made president for life. A Caesar, lionized to the heavens, like Che Guevara, Allende, Mao, Lenin, Musso— wait, scratch that last one.

• If you don't believe all of the above, and if you dare question, or get satirical about, this black man's policies, you are something akin to a traitor and a racist, if not both.

See also: How to Prevent America from Becoming a Totalitarian State