Coming Soon: Gravity to be Legislated!

I know you’re all practically peeing yourselves in giddy anticipation:

Brussels to unveil economic plan for next decade

There’s nothing quite as rousing as being forcefully led! It sure puts a smile on the collective European face, even if they did seem to have had their senses of humor surgically removed.

After a decade of the EU's failed efforts to become the world's most dynamic knowledge-based economy, Brussels is laying down a fresh economic vision based on innovation, education and digital technologies. However, it stops short of introducing sanctions to ensure national capitals this time stick to the plan.

The beatings will continue until morale a fresh economic vision based on innovation, education and digital technologies improves!

Have ou ever had to listen to teachers droning on about the evils of standardized testing, taking comps, and all of that insight-crippling “teaching to the test stuff”? Well here it is on a continental scale. Don’t forget your number 2 pencils, kids!

"The monitoring of progress towards these targets should become an integral part of our economic governance,"

Just as long as that data isn’t going through the SWIFT network.

Under the bloc's new, post-Lisbon Treaty set-up, member states will have no chance to formally debate the proposals ahead of the summit in sectoral councils of energy or finance ministers, giving the commission extra power to force its ideas through.

Any resemblance this has to ‘tractor production quotas’ is unintentional. Completely, and entirely without awareness of irony... unintentional.