Everybody Knows it’s Baseball Season...

In an amusing twist to the apocalyptic howling that has emerged into popular culture again since Y2K and the plague in the early Renaissance, John Rosenthal quotes a yet to be politicized or cut-down matter of fact report from Corriere della Sera on the fact that alp-loving leisure class can enjoy their après-ski arrogant rants a month early this year.

At Cortina, the snow “cannons” are in operation on the peaks and in the ski area of Faloria one is counting on opening the slopes already on November 13. That is nearly a month earlier than the classic “ponte dell’ Immacolata” that traditionally opens the snowy season throughout the Alps. …Barring any spectacular reversal of the meteorological trends and following last year’s extremely long [lunghissimo] winter, which only ended in May, this will be the shortest summer-fall interval without skiing ever recorded.

Having had to hear the cranky German engineers I work with complaining that this was yet another year without a summer, I’ve found that prodding them with the simple reply “well that’s just how global warming works” is no longer taken as a snide, vaguely insulting remark, but met with mild laugh, resigning itself to the reality of the fact that the end is not nigh, and that kneeling in the streets before the passing clerics of the morality-free post-Christian cult of thermometer worship may not be required of us for the moment.

Meanwhile, back in the usual emotionalized science for the non-impirical, the jihad to end humanity’s addition to toilet paper continues, as if trees were not farmed, and they weren’t actually sequestering carbon more rapidly by cycling through the process of use and replanting. Like everything, it requires someone to blame America first.

he tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

Much as the notion of believing that your shit doesn’t stink, the ur-Briton cannot be accused of having a rectum, which explains the confusion over what human buttock are. It’s best not to get confused down there, especially in the throws of passion, but does explain rather well just what it is that Euro-greenies are full of, and why there are ‘compaction issues’ as evidenced by their charm and warmth to people who actually still have a natural environment.

In the mean time, you can check the opening dates of les pistes while a political explanation for the weather is being formulated somewhere.